Treump, in anticipation of this approval, hired live in coach Red Magan to be on hand at Mara Largo. It is speculated that Treump also has a dedicated room with a table on Treump Force One. Kamalatte is no stranger to the game having been a young junior champion, but has had little time to hone her skills with the demands of her professional life over the last four decades. With no voters to sway, both candidates will be one hundred percent dedicated to winning the match.
In a match some have labeled to be the ‘Tortoise vs. the Harris’ Treump lobbied for the venue to take place on the roof of Treump Tower in Chicago. Kamalatte opted for Denver, hoping the thin air combined with her defensive style would exhaust the ultimate spin master, who many predict will to try to end points quickly with his ‘spin and slams’. As a compromise the special committee chose an abandoned convention center which will be rehabbed, and is just outside the city of Beloit, Wisconsin. (appropriately a ‘swing’ state). The table will be oriented so the net lies directly in line with the Illinois-Wisconsin border, piercing five feet of the ‘Cheddar Curtain,’ and thus straddling the two currently politically divided states. The north side of the table will be red, the south, blue. The players will not change sides. The first player to win six games in this best of eleven will occupy the Oval Office.
As for officials, Rudy Joola-ani stumbled across the opportunity and expressed interest in umpiring the event. Treump is pounding the table for the Supreme Court to be court side to handle sticky rule violations, and an instant replay team based in Moscow to handle close calls. Treump’s paddle is rumored to be a gift from Kim Pong Um, with red and black traditional rubber. While Kamalatte’s is a present from Fancy Powloosie, and will feature anti-spin on the blue side, and long pips on the black, designed to flummox her senior rival.
The event is destined to be not only the most viewed sporting event in the world, but the most viewed event of all time, period. Every network will have access to broadcast it, and Mr.Treump does not want to miss out on capitalizing on this. A special one time app purchase, (The Pong Whisperer) will enable you to listen to the whispering of Donald in real time during and between the points via an ultra-sensitive mic attached to his chest. A super premium version will display his vital signs, heart rate, oxygen level, and blood pressure. The app will be available in over 100 languages!
Stay tuned!
